I just want the pain to stop.

The One

To The Liar known as Stuberry:

You said I was your first love, but it was a lie.

You said you would never hurt me, now all I do is cry.

You left me a shell of my former self.

Tossed aside for someone else.

I thought it was all my fault.

I hate the pain that your “love” brought.

Now I see you for who you truly are.

I know the truth now and I am glad for the hurt.

I will rally.

I will heal.

Most of all I will know real love.

Love that will not hurt.

Love that will not lie.

I am a smart and beautiful woman.

I am a catch and though I feel like you have broken me.

I will pick of the pieces and move on.

You on the other hand.

I wish you all that you deserve in this life.

may you truly get it.

The One You Tossed Aside

I hope you know it didn’t have to be this way.

I gave you an out. I told you if you didn’t love me to go.

You made a choice.

You lied.

You plotted.

Now you have someone new.

I hope your happy I really do.

Because even though you can stop loving me.

I don’t know how to stop loving you.

You hurt me and I still love you. I just want you to be happy.

I also want you to know though you hurt me worse than I have ever been hurt before.

Why

Why can’t I just shut off that part of me that loves you. It hurts having you gone. Your still the first person I want to call when I have good news…(but I can’t). I just want to stop missing you and stop hurting I just want to be able to get through the day without feeling empty and sad. I don’t know if I ever could stop loving you. I’m sorry I’ve tried I can’t. I have to learn to live without you and just accept the pain as a part of my daily life.

work in Progress

Taking some time to work on myself and gain some perspective in my life. I have lost what meant most to me in this world and now have to start over. Life can be funny that way. What we think is forever can be fleeting then we are left to figure out what is truly important. I have loved one of the greatest men I will ever have the privilege of knowing and now that is over and I am left wondering what is next. It’s time to work on me and see what I can do on my own. I’ll  be back I promise but wright now I have to heal.